This week’s assignment is to track down the 5 Lies We Tell our Doctors. It got me thinking how going through three pregnancies and childbirth makes you a whole lot less self-conscious about going to the doctor. That’s a lot of hours waiting in paper gowns and shapeless drapes, reading two-month-old copies of magazines I never see anywhere else, like Good Housekeeping and Working Mother (which, don’t get me wrong, I love).
When your exam does start, your bodily privacy ends. There you are, as exposed as Britney Spears exiting the limo, and if you’re really lucky there is probably a student shadowing your doc (or, in my case, midwife) that day, and she’s a hands-on learner.
At that point, lying seems rather pointless to me. What could I possibly hide from them now?
But apparently up to one-third of us do it. We lie about how many drinks we’re downing. How much we smoke (only on girls’ night out, right?). Whether we had unsafe sex. Ever. Meds — are we using as directed? And anyone who’s never fibbed about flossing, take a step back. Yeah, I thought so.
And why do we lie? Most people say they fear judgment. Understandable. But, seriously, the doctors really have seen it all. Just ask a nurse. Nothing can shock them. And if your doc is the lecturing kind, find one who isn’t. Let’s face it, we spend too many intimate moments with the people in the white coats to suffer with jackassery. Find someone you like, someone who will give it to you straight but treat you like a grownup. Even if they do dress us like paper dolls so they can check out our goodies unhindered.