Are You New Here?

The “here” here refers to our home, populated by three children who let us live there too. This is how my husband and I admonish each other for those parenting hiccups that happen when we just really should know better. Like mentioning ice cream before a single child has eaten a single whole food. These are the forehead-smacking brain farts that lead to “uh-oh” at best and chaos at worst.

(My apologies to Kate&Lydia, the moms who dare to speak the truth at Rants From Mommyland, who inspired this list with their own Things I Should Know By Now.)

Here are my rookie mistakes of the week:

The kid stays in the shopping cart. Once the toddler has experienced freedom from restraint in Aisle 4, there’s no getting her back. Not without a meltdown that the butchers in the back can hear over the earsplitting “EEEEErrrIIIIeee” of their meat saws.

No craft projects that involve sand or glitter at meal-prep time. That’s not paprika on your potatoes.

Adult logic fails on the toddler mind. The 2-year-old throws a holy fit when I try to give her a bath. But turn on the water in the sink and she beelines from the other side of the house to play in it. Especially if the spray attachment is involved. Is she part cat? Future firefighter?